Sunday, November 8, 2009

Koeschens

I am tired of writing lengthy introductions. A blog is not a Hard Times assignment.
So I’ll arrive at my point without much drama:
I have many questions ( eternally pronounced “koeschens” by unnameable persons of my academic past) and they are:


1. “You know what your problem is, Finch? You get carried away with your own importance--but not far enough.”

Where would we be without DC and Marvel?

2. Why did my father look like I was throwing up metal yo-yos when I asked him exactly what people found objectionable with Silvio Berlusconi?

3.Why do the edges of carpets curl peculiarly against gravity, thereby creating very clever traps for ones abnormally long toes, thus making one fall nose-first
on the hard-unfriendly marble floor when one would like most to be discovered hurrying to college?

4.What is Dipankar Lahiri doing in his current Facebook display picture?

5.Why do I not have the good fortune of waking up one fine morning to hear that a freak molten meteorite visited the earth while I was dreaming of talking kettles and hit Sir Alex Ferguson square on the face thereby obliterating all chances of survival of the victim?

6. Is there anything that Arshdeep Singh Brar does not know?

7. I use Lux Soap daily. So why do I not look like Priyanka Chopra?

8. Where is the five rupee coin I once hid below my mattress in an attempt to start saving up for a visit to London?

9.Why is it never cold enough for me to wear that gray tweed jacket my Uncle got from a swank air-conditioned place in California?

10. Why is it that when defenders score goals, they have no idea how to celebrate?

11.Exactly what were the students doodling on their spare parchments when Thomas Carlyle was reading out 'Hero and Hero Worship' to them?

12.If Barack Obama could win the Nobel Prize for Peace, could the Embryo within my pregnant aunt’s tummy be far behind?

18 comments:

  1. The 'love the political satire' statements are best left to deepteshinflames. And oh oh...you should have seen Sorin celebrating.
    Otheriwse...KI DILI RE BOSS!

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  2. Arre thank you re.
    One very important match a day is taxing enough, thank you.

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  3. Not quite the political satires....what stand out for me is the lucidity of the diction and the humourous sarcasms.....but wait...isn't it strange that u don't have any questions on deepteshinflames.....like say why is deepteshpoetry a total shit?or how do u think R can bear with deepteshinflames??

    n not a single question on jheeling or JUDE?

    Sorry if I'm cynical.....why can't deepteshinflames just say dat Quince, the current moderator of AHM, is just too talented to be commented upon by sum1 like him?

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  4. Some attempts at answers -

    1. We would be forced to make superheroes out of Scrooge.

    2. The same reason my father looked like i was farting toxic gas when I asked him what was objectionable to holding an Aditya ka Swayamvar.

    3. It's a conspiracy which was the result of the death of Hitler, Nehru, Netaji, (in the future) - Amitabh, Shashi Tharoor, Michael Jordan and other tall fellows. This theory is based on absolute truth. (and from experience)

    4. After intricately studying the picture, i can deduce that it is not Dipankar who is to be examined, but the photographer for taking such a picture. The empty space on the left is just plain baaje. No offence Dipankar - ki pose merecho guru!!

    5. Err...the same reason such a meteorite doesn't hit the sociology department of Xaviers.

    6. WHO IS ARSHDEEP BRAR?

    7. Priyanka herself probably doesn't use Lux. She uses some brand of soap that would cost a month's 'hath-khorcha' for you.

    8. It's taken by the one that makes your bed.

    9. Because that swank air-conditioned place was so damnfuckingcold that those jackets are to be specially worn for anyone who visits that shop.

    10. Mainly because they can't believe their own eyes.

    11. Skip!! :P

    12. Er...far from what????

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  5. Thanks for making me laugh,not just u Chelsea,u too Mr.Just Another Name!-Sreejata

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  6. Thanks, Girl With the Broken Smile aka Sreejata. :P

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  7. about that tweed jacket. it simply reminded me of my darling white woollen scarf that I got from london. my principal envied me for buyin that. now i cant wear it.

    i miss alton towers u noe. and thames.

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  8. DeepteshInFlames: Oh dear boy. You have managed to get me quite inflated. And no, I would never have questions like, 'How can R tolerate DeepteshPoetry?' We all can. And she being muse, must. But I only guess.

    Adeetto, Sreejata: Mutual understanding...how grateful I am!

    The VBU Lass: Tui bleeding went to London?!

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  9. Jah, you know, I'd actually commented on this MUCH earlier. Blogger istoopid didn't upload.

    I love 10, and 4 will make Dipankar Lahiri's facebook profile very popular for some time to come :D

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  10. Yes yes kick blogger in the belly. So Blogger goes,"Bleargh!"

    Koeschen remains. WHAT in the whole wide world is Dipankar Lahiri doing in his FB display picture?!

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  11. too good. fantaasstic. mind blaasting.

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  12. I like :)
    U be funny. Heehee-giggle out loud funny :)

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  13. Srijan Poetry Festival in Late January.If u want 2 read out urworks in front of noted poets like Joy Goswami, Srijato,et al...pls mail 3 of ur poems at srijan2000@gmail.com.They wl let u know if u r selected.Mail b4 mid-December

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  14. Vikrant: Hoha.

    Riddhi GD: Hohaha.

    Deeptesh: Hohahaha. (Publicity, you deserve guillotine)

    Priyanka: Hee!

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  15. terribly unsettling koeschens, some of these....

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  16. wow how very amusing they have actually engaged me to think at a time when i should refrain from thinking process as sems are over now. I shall definitely come up with the best answers as soon as possible

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  17. Hello, Ritwick Goswami.

    Reejoo: Pulling of leg just got official.

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